Gits
by Iba
Summary: Alfred does something, which humiliates Arthur.


Matthew was awoken by a loud 'tap-tap-tapping' in the other room. He couldn't stand it, so he barged in on Alfred on his laptop, having him jump. His arm jerked to the point he almost spilled the coffee next to him and his legs almost had his computer fall off his lap.

"What are you doing?" Matthew questioned. Despite it being in the middle of the night, Alfred had the lamp in front of him turned on, so it was easy to discern the Canadian's messy hair. "Kumajirou was going to rip me up for all that loud typing you're doing!" He continued. Then he wished that Kumajirou didn't sometimes forget who he was.

"Ahh, jeez, Matthew! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Alfred said as cheerfully as he could, which sounded more like a relief. "I was deep into my work."

"What could you POSSIBLY be working on?" Matthew said and then sighed. Alfred waved his hand in a come hither motion at his brother.

"Check it out."

Matthew followed suit and Alfred beamed as he lowered his screen so his brother could see.

It was a MySpace page for Arthur. With his face Photoshopped onto different pictures, mainly women.

"Oh god..." Matthew said as he rubbed his hand down his face. "Is this some sort of propaganda...?"

"Pffff," was all Alfred managed to spout out from that reply. "Hey, don't tell anyone, okay? I'll be sending friend invites to everyone after I finish writing in the About Me."

"What... whatever. Just quit your typing soon; it's obnoxious." And with that, Matthew headed back to his bedroom.

Not too longer after, Alfred finished typing and set out to friend everyone. After, he sat back and took his victory sip.

Ah, patience was a virtue indeed.

The next day in everyone's timezones, they all checked their MySpaces. Later, Arthur was strolling on over to Alfred's place when all of a sudden Francis called him out.

"Mmmm~ Nice body you got on your page, mon cherie~ hehe~" he said.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Arthur spat back. He wasn't in the mood for any of Francis's games.

"Ohhh, you don't know? I thought the reason you were going in THAT direction was because-"

Francis's was oddly interrupted by Hong Kong hustling on over to them.

"Arthur, you body of womanly things makes for great amusement," he said with his stoic face. Arthur just stared at him in disbelief as Francis just slinked away before Arthur could slug him one.

He snapped out of it when he heard a cheerful, "Ciiaaaaooo~" coming from nobody other than Feliciano, followed by his indifferent brother. Feliciano all of a sudden looked disappointed when he actually took a look at Arthur.

"Awww, I thought it was true, brother~~!" he cried. "I probably would have enjoyed her cooking, too..."

"Pfff, you're a fucking moron. Of course it was fake; the page even said so!" Lovino scoffed. "I probably wouldn't have liked him as a woman, either."

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL RUNNING YOUR MOUTHS ABOUT, YA GITS?" Arthur shouted and soon after there was an awkward silence, followed by Antonio running by with a banner in the air, saying, "¡OLE SENORITA ARTHUR! ¡NICE MELONS!" Arthur and Lovino to flushed as wild as Antonio's running. Somehow, just somehow, everything has clicked in Arthur's mind. Shoving Feliciano out of the way and into Lovino, Arthur dashed over to Alfred's place. Matthew saw him from his window, shaking his head.

"Looks like he's going to be dead, eh, Kumajirou?" Matthew huffed, turning his head at Kumajirou, who was too busy placing a bet on his own computer with Yao's panda.

"YOU!" Arthur screamed as he barged through the door of Alfred's, who in returned screamed like a little girl for he was in the middle of watching a scary movie. Before Alfred could recover, Arthur grabbed Alfred by his collar. "WHAT DID YOU DO."

"What did I-OH! ...Oh, what?" Alfred said, trying to look innocent. "You're looking as evil as that creature in this mo-"

"CUT THE CRAP."

"Ahhh, Kirkland-san..." Kiku said as he walked in from the kitchen with a bento, seeing Arthur about to pierce Alfred in the middle of Texas. "What is the matter?" This interruption ruined Arthur's intentions, so he shoved the American to the floor.

"This ignorant fannybaws fancies ruining my image instead of doing something useful for all of us!" Arthur said. Alfred sat up, looking distressed.

"Aww, but it was just a joke, Arthur..." Alfred said with full sincerity.

"F-ALL, I might as well be living on a metaphorical island! How funfuckingtastic that would be!"

"Eeto, Kirkland-san? Are you talking about that MySpace page Alfred put up? Eeto... chotto." Kiku knelt behind the couch as if he was looking for something. Alfred was sweating and kept shaking his head desperately.

Kiku revealed himself, holding a gothic lolita dress.


End file.
